If they’re not being banned from rinks by the very men who signed their contracts, they’re getting booted off the ice by a take-charge figuring skating coach whose female student needs to get her glides in.

According to a blog by Minnesota StarTribune writer Michael Russo, 40 locked-out NHL players were booted off the St. Louis Park Rec Center ice pad Tuesday morning by Coach Marla, whom Russo describes as a “no-nonsense, red-headed figure-skating instructor.”

Russo reports that Marla strode directly to centre ice during a scrimmage and kicked the players – a deep group that included Zach Parise, Mikko Koivu, Cal Clutterbuck and Niklas Backstrom — off.

“That’s seems to be the general attitude in figure skating these days,” Wild player Matt Kassian told Russo, jokingly. “It’s very much about control and power, and she definitely had both of those going for her. She was serious.”

The players obeyed Coach Marla, who had reserved the sheet for a single figure skater, Sophie Ford, age 8. The NHLers left the ice pad and walked to the next sheet over – which they had already worn out — to continue.

“We have a tough enough time getting on the ice as it is,” laughed Wild defenceman Justin Falk, “let alone having a figure skater kick us off.”